Lifeside
by Lacewood
Summary: A collection of vignettes and drabbles, life side edition. Possible spoilers. [15: Ichigo and Rukia, on the subject of time travel]
1. gone

**Gone**   
By: Rael 

Massive spoilers for volume 3 

The next day dawned, hot and humid and glaring, so that it felt a world away from the torrential rain of yesterday, the night before, And it was, and wasn't; because he woke up and yesterday was still real, the nightmare wasn't over, was only a beginning to something that, he began to dimly realise, was going to last the rest of his life. 

But between one day and the next... He couldn't even remember what yesterday morning had been like anymore, only knew that _this_ morning was all wrong. Mom didn't wake him for school; he slept badly and dawn had found him wide awake, sitting up and waiting for the clock to hit seven so that he could crawl out of bed again. She didn't make breakfast either; a neighbour kindly brought some over for the still shell-shocked Kurosakis, but it tasted _awful_, he thought in a wild, rebellious fit of ungratefulness. It was all _wrong_. 

More neighbours walked Karin and Yuzu to school, offered to walk him too but he insisted that he'd be fine alone so they let him be, watching him leave with pity in their eyes, whispering audibly, as if he was deaf, about how brave he was being. 

He wasn't being brave. He still had something do to; he had to go back to the river. Slipping and climbing down the still muddy bank, he stared at the glinting grey water rushing past and made himself try to remember where his Mom had... fallen. Near the bridge, he decided in the end; his memories of yesterday were haphazard and broken, so that he couldn't even remember what he'd done after he'd seen the blood on her back, much less where they'd been. But that was okay; he had all day to look. 

So he started walking. He followed the river as for as far as he could walk before he got so tired he had to sit down; then he turned around and went back to where he'd started to try the other way. Over and over again, the whole day passing him by in a dazed crawl, till all he could see was the river and the bank and the dry brown grass beneath his feet as he paced back and forth, back and forth. Doing penance. 

If he walked long enough, hard enough, tired himself to the bone and beyond, to the point where it wasn't even exhaustion anymore, he'd find her. She was coming back, she _had_ to come back, he _knew_ she was coming back. She wouldn't just _leave_ like that; she loved them. She had to come back to see them again, smile at them one last time, say goodbye and tell him to take care of everyone for her. 

She couldn't leave them like this. Yuzu kept crying; Karin was trying to make herself stop, only to sit in grim, heartbroken silence; even Dad had cried when he thought no one was looking, wiping the tears away quickly before he pulled the three of them into his arms to let the girls wail on his shoulder. Then he'd gone all _quiet_. She had to come back, so that Ichigo could find her and run home for everyone and drag them down here and... and let them say _goodbye_ at least. 

Mom _had_ to come back... Ichigo had to tell her he was sorry. 

Sorry, sorry, sorry... He'd only wanted to _help_, he hadn't meant to be careless so that she had to save him and die and leave them and... 

And his throat was choked and burning as he squeezed his eyes shut, scrubbing roughly at them with his sleeve. He couldn't cry, couldn't close his eyes like this, he might miss her when she came. He had to keep walking. 

"Ichigo!" 

In the end it was Tatsuki who found him, scrambling down to the river while her mother stood on the bank, looking down worriedly. She stood before him, wary and awkward as he stared blankly back at her. "... Ichigo? Are you... okay? It's sunset, it's going to be dinner soon. Don't you have to go home?" 

He meekly let her pull him up to the bridge, let them take him home to his father, while Mrs Arisawa explained that they'd found him by the river while going out for groceries; he must have been there since school ended. Tatsuki alternated between staring at the floor and glancing at him and said nothing about him missing said school. 

He didn't go back there for a whole week; pacing the river from morning to dusk until it seemed that his feet should have worn a hollow in the earth, they had walked over them so often. Seven days, out of a vague memory of the old stories he'd heard about how spirits always came back seven days after their death, he made himself walk. Then he made himself stop. 

It was too late. She was gone. 

_end_

Notes: The _angst_. This is supposed to be a flashback snippet from a longer fic, but that's not getting written anytime soon and this stands alone quite well, so I just thought I'd post it. The lack of English Bleach fic is depressing (only one so far? T_T). 

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Ichigo or anything else in this. Only the words. Touch them and die. 


	2. better things to do

**Better Things To Do**   
By: Rael 

Possible background spoilers for flashbacks in chapters 100+, but nothing that'll kill you so long as you know who Chad, Ichigo and Tatsuki are. 

Now, as far as troublemakers went, Tatsuki didn't think she was much of one. 

After all, it wasn't like she went around _looking_ for fights, like some of the boys in school. If a fight came a-knocking, Tatsuki sure as hell didn't let it get away without a good licking, but the convenient thing about being an ordinary, harmless-looking girl was that most of the time, they didn't notice she was there. 

Which suited her fine, really. Teachers kicked up _such_ a fuss about broken noses and her mother grumbled way too much about 'why can't you act more like a girl' as it was. If trouble didn't come looking her way, she didn't go looking trouble's way either. She didn't need it. 

It wasn't _her_ fault she happened to share the same route home from school as troublemaker extraordinaire, Kurosaki Ichigo. 

Crossing the river, she'd heard the shouts. Leaning over the side of the bridge, she eyed the melee below, curious. Two black uniforms - easy enough to spot when one of them belonged to a familiar orange head, and the other to a well-built boy she didn't remember seeing around before (was he really from Mashiba? He looked like he should be in _high_ school). The other... twelve, she counted, were green. _Puke_ green. Shohoku. 

Oh yeah, it just figued Ichigo _had_ to pick a fight with the biggest gang in the district. 

They weren't doing too badly, considering they were outnumbered a good 6-1. But they weren't going to get out of this too good either. Tatsuki sighed. Just as well she didn't have anything on after school today. 

Swinging herself over the end of the bridge, she tossed her bag on the top of the grassy verge that sloped down to the river bank. Took stock of the situation below - the fight had already left 3 Shohoku thugs on the ground, and Ichigo was aiming a good punch at a big lout with what looked like the ugliest afro she'd ever seen. 

Tatsuki threw herself down the verge at a sprint, launched herself with a yell - 

Two skinny boys were scrambling to throw themselves at Ichigo's back. They never saw what hit 'em. 

Her flying kick caught Skinny #1 upside the head and sent him hurtling straight into Skinny #2. Two down. 

Ichigo turned, "Tatsuki?! What the -" Turned back to narrowly duck a punch, and swore loudly. 

Hitting the ground, Tatuski rolled to a crouch and swung a kick into someone's stomach - he doubled over with a groan and she shot to her feet to aim another good kick at his head. Another one down. Blocking a punch, she saw, out of the corner of her eye, Ichigo's friend - he had to be a friend, she didn't see anyone else wading willingly into _this_ mess if they weren't - throw one boy into another with an ease even _her_ flying kick hadn't pulled off - 

Just as someone grabbed at her from the back, wrapping thick arms around her - she scowled and kicked back hard, aiming for the kneecaps the way Sensei had shown everyone in those insane 'How to Deal With Perverts' lessons he'd given everyone last year - the grip loosened, then suddenly let her go. 

Twisting, fast, she drove an punch into Thick Arm's stomach, before looking up, surprised, as Ichigo's friend released Thick Arm''s collar to let him slump on the ground. Another yell as Ichigo twisted and threw the last boy over his shoulder - 

For a moment, silence. 

Nudging a still-muttering boy with his foot, Ichigo glared at the carnage around them. "Idiots." 

Tatsuki rubbed at a bruise on her arm and eyed him. "So what was it now?" She asked, jerking her head at the unconsious bullies around them. 

A snort. "_I_ don't know. The whole bunch of them just came out of nowhere and started acting like some idiot big shots or something... You'd think they had better things to do." He muttered sourly. 

"Uh huh." She gave Ichigo's friend a side-long look and met a dark eye studying her dubiously from under the curly dark hair. "You new here? I've never seen you around before." She asked, curious. 

He nodded and stayed silent. Ichigo looked up to add, "Oh, this is Chad. He just transferred here last week." 

Tatsuki thought she heard a very soft "Sado" from the taller boy, and blinked - but he didn't say anything else, only nodded at her when Ichigo gestured at Tatsuki. 

"This is Tatsuki. Knew her from karate class... What are you dong here anyway?" 

"I have to walk home, remember?" Tatsuki pointed out. "And what did I see but..." 

They were interrupted by a groan. Ichigo hadn't done a good enough job on Ugly Afro - he was trying to climb back to his feet. He glared at them. "Oh, so you need a bitch to save your ass now, do you, Kurosaki? Well, don't -" 

They never did hear what he was going to say. Ichigo barely stepped out the way in time to watch Ugly Afro go sailing past, landing with a satisfying splash in the river where, if he was lucky, the cold water would wake him in time to swim out before he drowned. 

"Nice." 

Tatsuki's grin was wide and suggested that she _ate_ rats for breakfast. "You're lucky I showed up. One of these days, you're going to get yourself into more trouble than _you_ can fight your way out of." 

Leaving the remains of Shohoku's meanest behind them, they started climbing back up the bank. The bruises on her arms and right shoulder were starting to hurt, but hell, she'd dealt with worse before. Meanwhile, the sky was blue, the sun was hot and there was still the rest of a long Thursday afternoon left before she had to go home and explain why she'd gotten into _another_ fight... 

"Yeah yeah... we were doing _fine_. Hey, I didn't _ask_ you to help... it's not like I was on my own anyway, Chad here could have kicked their asses with one hand." 

"Yeah, _sure_... hey, Mrs Tanaka takes your class for Math too, right? Did you hear about -" 

There were worse ways to spend an afternoon. 

_end_

Notes: All KT's fault. Aaaaaaaaall. Action scenes are not my forte. And my Tae Kwon Do sensei really DID give us tips on 'How to Deal with Perverts'. I made up the kneecaps, though. 

Disclaimer: Bleach not mine, money not made, you don't sue. Words going together mine. Graar. *cue Godzilla impersonation* 

October 2003 


	3. snowman

**Snowman**   
For Memlu

Ichigo's window sill was covered with a thick layer of powdery white. From the floor, Kon watched the boy shove the window open to sweep it off the sill, muttering about the damn weather and why'd it start snowing so fast.  
  
"Snow?" He asked, curious.  
  
"Yeah, snow... what, you've never seen snow before?"  
  
Considering that Kon hadn't been around all that long, and had only been in the world of the living for a little over six months so far, he hadn't.  
  
"It's like... eh, rain, only white. And colder. Way colder. Nothing special." He shrugged, before pulling on a coat and heading out for school.  
  
Left to his own devices and far from satisfied with Ichigo's explanation, or lack thereof, Kon climbed onto Ichigo's bed, pulled himself up onto the sill. Day after day spent locked in Ichigo's very boring room had left Kon quite the expert in getting about despite his size.  
  
Standing on the sill, he looked out at the world below. A blanket of white covered the street, frosted the trees. It looked quite pretty, Kon thought. It figured Ichigo would say it was 'nothing special'.  
  
And come to think of it, Kon didn't see why he shouldn't go out and take a look for himself. He'd seen a few girls walk by, throwing balls of the white stuff at each other and laughing. Maybe there'd be chicks out in this weather, all ready for the warmth a cute plushie like Kon would bring into their lives!  
  
Heaving the window up enough to let himself out of the room, he dropped into the snow drift below. Being a stuffed toy had its advantages - he didn't have to worry about breaking anything or freezing to death. Though hell, it WAS cold - maybe that was why Ichigo had been so grumpy about it.  
  
Then again, it wasn't like the jerk ever needed an excuse to be grumpy. Digging himself out of the snow, Kon set off to enjoy his freedom.  
  
Flakes of white were still falling slowly, gently, all around him. The street was empty - children in school, grown ups at work, anyone else none too interested in risking the cold. Ah, sweet, sweet freedom. Kon would have whistled, if he'd had lips to whistle with.   
  
Nearing the park two streets away from the Kurosaki clinic, Kon slowed and came to a stop. Something large and white stood on the sidewalk. It looked like it was made up of balls of snow piled up on each other, though why anyone would bother, Kon couldn't imagine. Maybe it was a spirit of some sort, he thought, but he couldn't sense anything from it...  
  
The stuffed lion inched closer. It didn't move. Circling the mysterious thing till he stood in front of it, he saw that someone had picked out a face on the top ball of snow. Two stones for eyes, a stick for a nose and a neat line of stones for a smiling mouth.  
  
Ah. It was supposed to be a person made of snow! Arms akimbo, he stood before it, triumphant at having solved the mystery. He still couldn't imagine why anyone would _want_ to make a person out of snow, but children, from Kon's limited experience, seemed to like doing strange things (like gluing felt flowers onto perfectly innocent plushies who'd only been minding their own business!).  
  
The question settled, he turned away to continue on his Quest For Cute Chicks. He marched down half the street, lost in a dream of running into Inoue-san, before he realised -  
  
He could hear something behind him.  
  
Kon stopped. The shuffling, grinding sound, as if something heavy was being dragged across the pavement, stopped. Maybe it'd just been his imagination, he told himself, and took a long (as long as his very short legs could stretch anyway) step.  
  
_Griiiiind._  
  
If Kon had had veins to speak of, his blood would have frozen itself solid with terror. He turned to peek over his shoulder.   
  
Nothing. The street was empty. Except for the snowman, but that didn't really count, it - it looked _a whole lot closer than it should be_. He'd left it behind in front of the park, right? It should be half a street away by now! Not this... close...  
  
Kon stared at it. It didn't move. Kon turned around, took a deliberate step, then spun to catch it in the act.  
  
It still hadn't moved.   
  
Maybe there was someone hiding behind the snowman? He could always turn back, take a goooood looooong look to be sure. But instinct told him to stay far away from it. Faaaar awaaaaay. In fact, now would be a mighty good time to run away screaming! the voice in his head suggested.  
  
Kon stood his ground. He was a lion among men! He wasn't letting some oversized pile of snow scare him! Turning his back on it with a humph, he resumed marching, and if he was a little less cheerful about it, and marched rather faster than he had before, well, turning his back on that thing took nerve!  
  
_Griiiiiiii-_  
  
"Yargh!"  
  
Kon spun around and found the snowman _staring at him_. It'd been facing the road before; now, by means Kon was in no mood to wonder about, it'd turned around and was now _staring at him_ - and surely it hadn't been smiling _that_ widely before?  
  
Eternity seemed to pass as Kon stared, mesmerised, into the black stone eyes. The Thing seemed to grin - he could have sworn he saw the stones moving slowly, slowly, across the blank expanse of the white face...  
  
Kon was a lion among men, but he knew when he was out of his league.   
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!"  
  
  
  
  
Ichigo came home from school to find a soggy stuffed lion curled in a trembling heap under his bed. He'd barely shut the door behind him before Kon threw himself at the boy, tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
"Ichigo!!! You're back!!!"  
  
"Yargh! You're freezing! Why the hell are you so wet? Don't touch me, idiot!"   
  
"I'm so sorry for misunderstanding you! I'll never do it again! I didn't realise that snow could be so awful! I promise I'll never sneak out again!"  
  
Holding Kon at an arm's length, Ichigo stared at the sobbing plushie. Eh? What the hell was the idiot talking about now? Sure, he'd been a little grumpy about the weather this morning, but it wasn't _that_ bad.   
  
Some kids had even made a snowman outside the clinic - his dad was yelling about dressing it up in old clothes, never mind that the thing took up half the street and was planted right smack in front of the clinic doors...

_end_

Notes: No, I don't know why it's stalking Kon either... it just _wants to_... *scary music plays*

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Fic mine. Stealing bad.


	4. the love letter

**The Love Letter**   
The 34678921 reasons why Ichigo doesn't have a girlfriend.

* * *

Mumblemumblemumble.

"... What? Ami, say it properly."

"Come on, we can't help you if we don't know who it is."

"Don't you trust us?"

Mumble. "... Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Kurosaki... Ichigo? Which class?"

"Oh... wait, isn't he the guy with orange hair? Mizuiro's class?"

Nod.

"Who? I don't remember... _orange_ hair? Is he some sort of..."

"Don't you remember? You've seen him, remember that time Don Kanonji was filming here and some guy kicked up trouble and tried to rush in or something?"

"... Oh God, _that's_ Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Sakura..."

"Oh! Er, I didn't mean it like that, Ami! But... don't you think he sounds a bit like a... well, a troublemaker...?"

"... Well. I know... but... maybe he had his reasons? I mean, I don't think he makes much trouble in school... And he's not a gangster! I mean, he's smart and everything. He ranked 18 in the exams! And..."

"All right... calm down..."

"Oh shoot, that's the bell... Look we'll talk after class!"

----------

Whisper. "... Er, wait... Wasn't there a girl with him that time...?

"Yeah, heard she's a classmate or something..."

"... Are they...?"

"I don't know. But there've been rumours..."

"Why didn't you tell Ami?"

"Well... I mean, they're just rumours, right? And it'd be better for her if she got a proper answer, instead of just wondering if she should have or not..."

Sigh. "... I hope you're right..."

----------

The next morning, the person in question walked into his classroom to stop, eyes narrowing, as he saw Mizuiro and Keigo at his desk, heads bent over something...

"Oi, what're the two of you looking at?"

Keigo would have jumped ten feet if Ichigo's hand hadn't grabbed his shoulder. "Yargh! Ichigo! We didn't hear you come in..." He yelped.

Mizuiro backed away, letting something white drop back on the desk."Ah... Ichigo..." He beamed innocently. _Too_ innocently.

"What the hell is this?" Ichigo asked suspiciously as he stared at the rectangle of white paper. An envelope, plain except for a small, pale pink flower in a corner. Kurosaki Ichigo, it announced in neat, black-ink words. "A letter? From who? And why'd they leave it at my desk?" He eyed his friends. "And why are the two of you looking at me like..."

"You IDIOT. What do you think that is?" Keigo howled at him. "Someone's written you a LOVE LETTER!"

Silence descended on the classroom and the corridor outside it as everyone within hearing distance froze, mid-action, to turn and stare at them.

Mizuiro considered crawling under a table and hoping Ichigo couldn't reach him there when he unstuck enough to try to kill them.

Keigo, who had no such chances, twitched in a vain attempt to move and run for his life but fear... had... paralysed... him... He could see _several_ veins start to pop on Ichigo's temple...

The teacher walked in.

All hell did not break loose right then and there, but a sizable portion of it wrecked a good bit of damage. Later.

----------

_Kurosaki-san, _

I have something important I'd like to say to you. Could you please meet me outside the gym after school today? I would be very honoured.

Thank you.

Hioshi Ami

Ichigo blinked. Stared. "This is a love letter?"

Keigo and Mizuiro wondered how their friend had managed to survive school life so long without picking up some of its _most essential, important facts_.

"It just says she wants to tell me something." He pointed out.

"What else could she want to tell you?!" Keigo yelled. He was lucky the rooftop was deserted except for the three of them, Mizuiro thought, covering his ears; hadn't this morning taught him _anything_?

"I don't even know who this is." Ichigo pointed out irritably. "Why the hell would she want to do /that/?"

"... If I remember right, she's in the school choir..." Mizuiro said thoughtfully. "A bit quiet, but quite cute, really."

"I thought you were only interested in older women."

Mizuiro looked wounded. "Good social skills are always important. And I can't help it if women of _all_ ages find me..."

Keigo's howl of protest drowned out the rest of his words. Ichigo ignored them to stare dubiously at the note again.

"So I'm supposed to go meet her?"

They stopped arguing long enough to roar in perfect unison. "YES OF COURSE."

"Ah... she doesn't deserve someone like you." Keigo mourned. "How could anyone be so callous? Young love, so sweet, so innocent, and he..."

"I still don't know who she is. I don't _want_ a girlfriend! The stupid rumours all over school are bad _enough_."

"Come to think of it, does Kuchiki-san know about this...?" Mizuiro mused before remembering she'd have to be stone deaf to _not_ know. Ichigo glared murder. He backed off. "Never mind..."

"Do I know about what...?" Someone asked, curious.

They looked up to see Rukia looking down at them, lunch box in hand.

"Ah! Kuchiki-san! What are you doing up here this fine day?" Keigo sprang to his feet. "Come, join us!"

She smiled dazzlingly. "Thank you. The weather was so fine, I thought I'd come up to the roof for my lunch to enjoy it. But do I know about what?"

"Someone's written Ichigo a love letter! But you were in class this morning, so you must have heard, right?"

"Oh, that, why yes, I heard. It's so sweet!" She beamed and Ichigo could _tell_ she was laughing at him even if it didn't show. Quite. But well meaning people didn't _smirk_ like that and her coy chuckle was clearly a well disguised _cackle_.

"No. It. Isn't." He ground his teeth.

"Well. You should still go." Mizuiro said. "It'll be really rude if you don't. You could just tell her you're not interested in dating yet or something..."

Ichigo blanched.

----------

So. After school. The gym. Ichigo reluctantly dragged himself round the corner and found the place almost deserted. Well, except for a girl with brown hair standing nervously by the gym doors and a few passing students, and...

He stalked over to the nearest bush and kicked. Hard.

The bush yelled.

Ichigo glared. It obediently rustled to reveal Chad. And Mizuiro, hiding behind him. And Keigo, still clutching at his leg as he groaned.

Chad stared back at Ichigo, then nodded and obligingly grabbed the other two boys by their collars and dragged them away.

Which left Ichigo alone to deal with The Girl. Kurosaki Ichigo had faced down big ugly Hollows without turning a hair. All he really had to do was go up to her and politely tell her he wasn't interested; how hard could that be?

Right. So when she looked at him nervously and blushed and said his name, he did _not_ wonder if backing off right now might not be a good idea. "Kurosaki-san?"

"Er. Yes. I got your letter..."

"Ah... yes... I..." She seemed to have trouble saying whatever it was she wanted to tell him. "I just wanted to say that I -"

"ICHIGO!"

He turned. "What the...?" And met the gloved heel of Rukia's palm right as she hit him...

"Yargh! What the hell?! Not right in front of her!" He yelled, turning to watch his body fall over while Hioshi Ami stared in shock.

"There's a Hollow attack! Come on!" She snapped, grabbing him by the sleeve.

"Coudn't you have waited a few more seconds?! Let go of me! How the HELL am I going to explain that...?!"

----------

The story was all over school the next morning.

Tatsuki walked into class to hear Ogawa tell Orihime "and she said a whole bunch of monkeys jumped off the gym roof on her and she nearly fainted but then Ichigo finally turned up and helped her! And then he said he wasn't interested in dating, but she says she'll wait for him if she has to, and..."

... That was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. Except for the time Orihime's apartment had gotten that hole in the wall; that had been _slightly_ stranger...

Something struck her later. "Orihime? How come you never tried confessing to Ichigo? Knowing what he's like, he's never going to get interested unless you _grab_ him..."

Orihime blinked. "Oh no, methods like that won't work on him." She said sagely and went back to humming.

She was probably _right_. Sometimes, Tatsuki thought, Orihime really did seem to know better than the rest of them...

_end_

July 2003


	5. almost a beginning

**almost a beginning**

For Sakura

* * *

The thing about Rukia is that she's never really fit in. She doesn't even fit her own bones right, small and frail and birdlike as they are, with guts of brimstone and nerves of steel to not match. She's always been a little too strange, a little too cold, too weak, too flawed, too perfect.

She didn't fit in Rukongai; she burned too brightly there. She didn't fit in the Kuchikis either, too mortal for their inhuman perfection. She made her masks - and they were almost the real thing, but never quite good enough.

(Kaien never cared that she didn't have a place where she fit - he dragged her along and found her one anyway. And Renji - Renji never quite fit either, but he didn't wear masks, and he made his own place, even one for her.)

The thing about Ichigo is that he's never really fit in either. He's too loud, too silent, too angry, maybe not angry enough. His anger is a mask too, but he's not very good at wearing it yet, so it slips.

It's not like they really fit together all that well. It's not that simple, not that perfect. They can barely fit their own skins, let alone someone else's. But they know they don't fit, and they know they're wearing masks, and they know they try very hard to not care.

It's a space for them to breathe. And maybe, it's almost a beginning.

_end_

October 2004


	6. our own world

**our own world**

* * *

In her mind's eye, she sees two kingdoms, torn asunder because of the terrible war between them.

The kingdom of ninjas, led by the brave and beautiful Ninja Princess, need wool for their cool, black outfits to keep warm! But the kingdom of sheep, led by the brave and Innocent Shepherd Boy, are angry, because their sheep are always cold in winter!

The war is long and terrible, and many innocent sheep are slain! There seems to be no end to the tragedy, until one day, a Mad Scientist comes to the Kingdoms. The war makes the Mad Scientist very sad, and she is determined to reunite the two kingdoms into one!

So she invents SYNTHETIC WOOL, and at last there is hope! Now the ninjas may always be warm, and the sheep need not be shorn, and finally the two kingdoms can be at peace!

The Ninja Princess and the Shepherd Boy can now be friends! And the heirs to their one big kingdom together! And happy that Synthetic Wool has saved the land, the Mad Scientist gives them both a big kiss.

Ichigo surfaced, startled, to gape at her.

Tatsuki, sitting three feet away, blinked, then recovered. She gave him maybe 10 seconds to recover, before she got to her feet to loom over him, hands on hips.

"And you'd better take good care of Orihime, because I'll _kick your ass_ if you don't," the Ninja Princess informed the Shepherd Boy.

He blinked, then scowled at her. "_What_?"

"What do you _think_?" she said, scowling back. She turned. "I'll just leave the two of you alone n-"

But the Ninja Princess was not escaping so easily from the Mad Scientist. Orihime's hand reached up, caught her by the back of her shirt, and yanked.

"Oof!"

Caught off guard, Tatsuki tumbled backwards to find herself sprawled flat on her back. Then Orihime leaned over and calmly kissed her too.

"There," she said with perfect calm. "Now the two kingdoms are united for ever!"

If Tatsuki were listening, she might have heard Ichigo close his slack jaw with an audible snap. She was too busy gaping at Orihime herself to pay attention.

"Wha..."

"What..."

"You just..."

"Orihime, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

Ichigo just spluttered, speechless.

The Mad Scientist took in their stunned reactions and blinked. "But Kurosaki and Tatsuki are both my most precious people," she pointed out.

They blinked.

"And I want you all to be happy," she added, firm.

A firework scattered above them in a cascade of violet and blue, celebrating the end of the war. She looked up at it and smiled. Ichigo and Tatsuki looked at her, then each other.

"... I'm not kissing you," Ichigo told her in ominous tones.

Tatsuki glowered back. "_I_ don't want to kiss you either," she snapped.

She looked at Orihime, sighed, and propped her chin in her hand. Ichigo followed her gaze.

"She's always like this, huh?"

"... Pretty much. You get used to it."

Orihime turned to smile at them. The Ninja Princess and the Shepherd Boy might argue but they were friends after all. And that, at the end of the day, was the important thing, wasn't it?

Maybe one day they'd even kiss each other and forget the terrible war that tore them apart for so long! She thought of ninjas helping to take care of the sheep on beautiful rolling plains, under a sky full of sunflowers.

Ichigo sighed. "Eh. Could be worse," he commented. "Could be _Rukia_," he muttered under his breath.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Tatsuki demanded.

"What do you _think_ it means? I said it could be worse! I didn't say it was!"

The Mad Scientist smiled, listening to them. The last firework exploded in gold and silver and red, and they all turned to watch it.

The sky here was pretty too, she thought, even if it wasn't full of flowers like the sky over there. And so long as the Ninja Princess and the Shepherd Boy were here, and everyone was together, it's a good ending, right?

And then they all lived happily ever after.

_end_

May 2005


	7. summer matinee hero

**Summer Matinee Hero**

* * *

School was over, summer was here and Jinta was bored. Very bored. Ururu could tell, because when Jinta got bored, he saw it as a serious breakdown in the world's major duty to Bow Down Before Him And Keep Him Happy. And when that happened, he picked on her.

... Well, more than usual, anyway.

"Yah! Stop hitting me!" She wailed. "Why do I have to be Menos Grande? I can be the shinigami too!"

"Hah! You, a shinigami? You don't have what it takes!" He said, arms crossing.

"But... but I'm nothing like a Hollow too..." She pointed out.

He scowled. The fact that Ururu was right only seemed to make him even more irritated. "Stop arguing and just get on the chair! And stop jumping off!" He snapped.

Ururu clambered on the chair before he could hit her again. Tessai had gone to buy more supplies, and Manager had said something about taking a nap since business was so slow. This left Ururu with no one to stop Jinta - except maybe herself, but experience told her that arguing with Jinta never got _her_ anywhere.

"Now stick your arms up! And look like you're going to attack me!" He directed.

Ururu thrust her arms out before her, looking more mournful than fierce. Jinta, she thought, looking down at his scowling face, really would make a much better Hollow - he'd hit her when she said that, though, so she didn't say it again.

"Rar." Menos Grande said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm as the shinigami took up position halfway across the yard.

The broom was brandished with a yell. "Prepare to meet your doom, Menos Grande!" Shinigami Jinta yelled.

Ururu watched him leap into the air with battle cry and remembered how the _real_ Menos Grande had just batted away the shinigami boy when he tried to attack it. Unfortunately, she wasn't big enough to even think of doing that to Jinta.

The broom swept through the air, coming right at her with a speed that promised much pain if it made contact with her head...

"Eeek!"

And struck empty air as Menos Grande tumbled off the chair, arms wrapped around her head.

Jinta's triumphant battle cry stopped mid howl. "Not AGAIN! Stop doing that! That's the FIFTH TIME!" The broom waved wildly in her face. Ururu didn't care.

"I don't want to!" She wailed.

"Who's in charge her--"

A howl interrupted them. The two children looked up, startled, to see a Hollow storm towards the store, arms flailing as it lurched from side to side. Ururu blinked. Jinta blinked... and grinned.

"Guess I don't need you to be a lousy Hollow after all!" He said just as another figure came into view.

The children stared. It looked familiar... but even Don Kanonji's weekly telelvision appearances didn't include short skirts and rhinestone wands. It struck a pose before the Hollow.

"Stop! In the name of my Number 1 Disciple, Kurosaki Ichigo, I, Don Kanonji, will not let you harm these innocent children!" He announced with a flourish.

The Hollow paused to study the suited warrior of justice, grunted - then lurched forward with renewed vigour.

"I gave you fair warning!"

A ball of light of unimpressive size sparked in the palm of his hand. With a yell, he thrust it at the Hollow just as it opened huge, fanged jaws around his arm. He blinked.

Jinta's broom hit the Hollow with a crack and sent it flying back, where Ururu caught it before it went too far. Kanonji's small ball of light travelled slowly on, struck the Hollow face-on, and exploded with a bang.

The Hollow wailed and crumbled into dust as they watched. Silence.

"Hah!" Jinta folded his arms and smirked. Ururu looked as mournful as ever. That Hollow hadn't lasted very long. Jinta was going to be bored again in twenty minutes.

Don Kanonji pushed his dark glasses back to study the two of them. "Ah. The two of you can see the Bad Spirits too!

Ururu watched Jinta puff his chest. "What, Hollows? I've always been able to see them!" He boasted.

Don Kanonji brightened. "Brilliant! Then the two of you can help me fight them! We will be the Karakura Super Heroes! In my Number 1 Disciple's absene, we will protect the world from the Bad Spritis that would harm the pure and innocent souls around us!" He proclaimed, rhinestone wand sparkling in the sunlight as he struck a pose.

Jinta looked interested. "Do I get to be the lead?"

"But of course!" Don Kanonji agreed. "And this young lady will be the supporting member!"

Jinta paused. "... Do we have to wear that costume you're wearing...?" He asked, suspicious.

"Why, would you like a costume too? I can always provide one, specially tailored with my own..."

"No! No costume!" Jinta backed away. "I'm not wearing that!"

"Are you sure? But I know a indigo silk that would go wonderfully with your hair, and..."

"NO! NOT WEARING ONE! EVER!"

"Well, if you'd rather not, certainly. But perhaps I can arrange some sort of costume..."

"No!" Jinta looked like he was starting to regret ever mentioning costumes.

Ururu picked up his discarded broom and left them to argue matters out. She wasn't so sure the Manager would approve of this Hollow hunting thing, but if it kept Jinta distracted, it was fine by her.

_end_

December 2003


	8. distance

**our distance, and that person**

* * *

"Did you know," Yuzu comments from behind her magazine, "that your boyfriend shouldn't be more than 10cm taller than you for the optimum kissing experience?"

Karin looks up from her homework to stare. "_What_?"

Yuzu waves the magazine at her. It's pink and glossy and features the kind of girl Karin sometimes pities because they look like they'll fall over if you yell too hard.

"That's what it says here," she says, pointing at the article.

Karin transfers her stare to the magazine. "You read things like this?"

Yuzu blinks back. "Why not? I think they're funny," she points out. "Aki lent this to me, we're thinking of splitting her subscription."

Her sister looks at the magazine, looks at her. Oh yeah, that growing up thing, she thinks. Make up, clothes, boys, all that. Karin hasn't actually thought that hard about all this yet.

She squints at the article. "But that's idiotic. Who measures their boyfriends? Or chooses them for their height?"

"Well, Shina does say she's not dating anyone shorter than her brother, but I think that was just to discourage Takeshi. Anyway, it makes sense. Wouldn't it give him backache if he was too tall?" Yuzu points out, ever the pragmatist.

Karin thinks of the tallest person she knows, all 2-metres-and-still-counting-dammit of him. Karin at fifteen is gangly and taller than half the boys in her class, and she doesn't even reach his _shoulder_. Maybe somewhere past his elbow.

Huh, she thinks. That stupid magazine probably has a point.

"Guess that makes sense. Does that thing have horoscopes in it? I'm not touching it if it does."

She leaves Yuzu to her magazine. At least someone in this family's growing up normal. Sort of, anyway.

* * *

She runs into him four days later at the grocery store. Her green plastic basket thumps him in the back when she lines up behind him at the cashier, and he turns to blink down at her. Karin stares up at him. He _is_ too tall, she decides. She'll probably give herself a crick in the neck if she had to keep looking at him like this all the time.

"Hey," she says.

"Ah - Karin." Her name is still awkward on his tongue, ever since last year when she got tired of being called Kurosaki and told him to stop that. It's irritating but then, Chad's never seemed very comfortable with words.

He continues staring at her (not that she can see with his eyes covered by his hair; for all she knows, he's examining the floor tiles) and she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

The queue ahead of him shifts, and the cashier eyes Chad's unmoving back with annoyance. Karin sees it, frowns and thumps her basket against his knee.

"/Oi/. Stop staring. It's your turn," she says, and bites back, idiot.

He starts at that and turns. "Ah! Sorry," he tells the cashier, incongruously sheepish. Sometimes she really does wonder if he's an idiot.

The contents of his trolley pile on the counter. Vegetables. Tofu. More vegetables. Karin stares at it; she'd have thought he was a red meat kind of guy; who gets so big eating /vegetables?

The cashier takes forever ringing his greenery through. She should have picked the shorter queue after all, Karin thinks. Good thing Yuzu isn't in a hurry for her groceries.

He's still there when she finally gets outside, standing by the road plastic bags in hand. He could be waiting for the traffic to clear, or he could just be staring in the distance. He could even be waiting for her, though he has no reason to.

"You're a vegetarian?" she asks, coming up behind him

He looks at her. "No," he says. He sounds surprised.

"You didn't buy anything but vegetables," she points out.

He looks down at his shopping. "Cheap," he says. "They keep longer," he adds.

"Oh." She'd known he didn't have much money, but now she tries to imagine eating vegetables all the time because meat is too expensive and wonders, what else doesn't she know?

She knows he got a grant to go to the local college. He's studying to be a vet. On the weekends and long breaks Ichigo comes home, sometimes they hang out together, walking around the town, talking, probably not-talking, knowing them, getting into the ocassional fight for old time's sake. She thinks he listens to some of music her brother does, low, rumbling American rock, some of it decades old, with beats that drum in your bones.

That's not a lot at all.

Distances, in more ways than one.

"Ah. ... Your bag?" he says, with a vague gesture.

Karin blinks and looks down at it. "What?"

He offers a hand for it, never mind that it's already laden. Karin gives him a blank look, then hefts its weight in her hand.

"It's not heavy," she points out. He nods and takes his hand back and this would be where they go on their seperate ways, but then she scowls and decides that if they're _here_, she might as well answer a question. There are green-painted benches scattered outside the supermarket, by the doors.

"Sit down," she tells him.

He radiates surprise. "Sit down?"

She jabs a thumb at the bench. "Sit down," she orders.

"Ah..."

"It's only for five minutes," she snaps, scowl still in place, because if she's going to /be/ stupid she might as well get it over with.

He sits.

This brings his eyebrows to roughly the level of her nose. She looks down at him (for once) and then realises that she can /see/ his eyes through his hair now. She stomps on the sudden urge to push his hair out of his face so she can get a good look. He's looking at her with a mild, quizzical air (she also stomps on the urge to kick him in a sort of irrational self defense).

Sitting down, she's probably not more than 10 cm taller than _him_. She leans in so that they're eye to eye, noses almost touching. His eyes are clear and brown and brighter than she'd expected.

He shifts under her scrutiny. "Ah. Ku- Ka-rin? Is there something -"

She straightens. "It's nothing," she says/still/ scowling and daring anyone - _anyone_ - to ask for an explanation.

"Are you okay?" he manages.

"Yes," she snaps. "You should cut your hair so people can see your eyes," she adds.

"Can I stand now?" he asks, eyebrows raised a little. She wonders if he's laughing at her but he doesn't _seem_ to be.

She snorts yes and he climbs to his feet, back to too-damned-tall again.

"See you around," she says over her shoulder, turning to go home and pretend this-never-happened.

He nods. He might even be smiling a little, in the way that isn't quite a smile but really is, but it's hard to tell and she can't ask him to sit down _again_.

Stupid magazine wasn't quite right, she thinks. Distances can be closed, after all.

You just need to figure out _how_.

_end_

May 2005


	9. rabbit food

**rabbit food**

* * *

"Oi."

No answer.

"Oi."

_Still_ no answer.

Ichigo muttered under his breath, gave up, and stuck an elbow out to jab the girl beside him in the ribs.

"OI. Don't we have a Hollow to kill here?" he hissed at her.

No, it wasn't bad enough she'd dragged him across town on a Saturday morning for an "anticipated Hollow attack", or that they were on a nice busy street with maybe 60 chances of being seen together by someone from school, no... of course not. To increase their visibility _and_ up the chances to 100, Rukia had to park herself in front of a blasted pet shop, press her face to the glass and start making suspicious _cooing_ noises.

Irritated did not quite begin to cover Ichigo's current state.

"It shouldn't be here so soon," she unstuck her face from the glass long enough to mutter back.

"Then why did you drag me out here _now_!" he demanded.

"In the event of unforseen emergencies a shinigami should always respond to an alert as quickly as possible," she snapped. "Shush, you're scaring them."

Ichigo glared at the inoffensive rabbits in the cage before them. They went on eating carrot.

"What the hell's so great about them anyway..." he muttered.

Face to the glass, Rukia was cooing something about "white" and "pretty" and "soft", and "even cuter than the ones we used to try and catch, and bigger too", and "I wonder what they'd taste like with ketchup, we didn't have ketchup at Soul Society..."

Ichigo blinked.

"What did you just say?"

"Hm? I said I wondered what they'd taste like with ketchup..."

On careful examination, Ichigo thought, trying to squint at her face against the glass, she might actually be _drooling_.

Oh, this had to be a _joke_ right? She drew ugly bunnies (that were indistinguishable from everything else she drew, yeah, but still). She wanted Soul Candy dispensers with bunny heads. That was not the kind of attitude you took to animals you _drooled at_.

This was _Rukia_. Right, make no assumptions here.

He looked at the rabits. They stared back, white and innocent and utterly ignorant of their mortal peril.

He sighed, reached out and grabbed her by the collar of her dress. She failed to respond. He stood up and started walking.

"Hey! Unhand me, fool! What are you -"

"Those are _pets_, not _food_. You're supposed to _take good care of them_, not _eat them_. Look, I'll get you a burger or something if you're really that hungry," Kurosaki Ichigo, protector of the innocent, grumbled. "Stop doing that, it's creepy."

"I don't understand what you're talking about, that shop is full of animals, they are _clearly_ intended for consumption purposes!"

Oh yeah, Ichigo thought. What better way to spend his weekend than try to explain the concept of "pets" to Rukia, bloodthirsty shinigami extraordinaire?

Just then, the Hollow attacked.

And _about time_ too.

_end_

June 2005


	10. the smell of hospitals in winter

**The smell of hospitals in winter**

* * *

The window is open; winter air seeps through the gap, bringing with it the promise of ice and snow. It's too cold to smell of anything, there is at most the faintest taste of gasoline, a promise of ice and snow; but for the moment, it sears the air so that the room stops smelling of sickness and death.

Sitting in the chair by the window, Ichigo glances outside, then looks at the woman in the bed.

"You sure you want that open? It's freezing in here," he says.

She smiles, faintly, and shakes her head. "Please."

Mikishima Keiko is 39, divorced, and a mother of two. She hasn't seen her sons in five months, when she gave her ex-husband full custody over them so they wouldn't have to watch their mother die. The doctors gave her three months then; she's held on better than they thought she would, but it's still not long enough.

She is dying.

Ichigo is still in the first year of his residency. He was posted here in September, and in four months, he's made mistakes and survived them/not/ killed Isshin despite his old man's idea of "helpful advice" and even begun to think he might be learning how to save lives after all. Lives, not just deaths.

Mikishima will be the first patient he loses. He's been watching it come for months now - the gradual decay of her flesh, her spirit losing anchor. Was there anyone she wanted him to call, she wanted to see, he'd asked last night. No, she'd breathed, quiet.

So he sits here, waiting, with her. She drifts in and out of consciousness with the passing hours but now, dawn is coming and she is all too lucid.

"Do you believe in gods?" she asks him.

Ichigo blinks, and looks at her. "Gods?"

She smiles (she smiles easily at him; he's so young, her smiles seem to say. She tells him she hopes her sons grow up to be like him. Ichigo doesn't really know what to say to that.)

"So you don't believe in them, then."

"Ah." Maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just never let himself think about it. He's seen life and death; he has not seen anything he would call a god. "I... don't know."

"That makes two of us, then," she says. Her eyes slide past him to the window, where the leaden sky is only beginning to pale. "I wish I could," she murmurs.

"What?"

"Believe."

Ichigo opens his mouth, shifts in the chair and wonders if he should get her more blankets. Wonders if there's a way to tell someone something without actually telling them - Oh hell. How do you tell someone death is really like life, only without indoor plumbing?

"I think... it'll be okay," he says, even though he's not really sure of that.

She looks at him. "It'll be okay?" she echoes.

"It'll be okay," he says again, like some kind of idiot. "That's what I believe," he says. He knows nothing about gods, about divine truth, about eternity, but _death_, he knows. "Try not to be be afraid," he says, almost gentle.

"I hope you're right, then," she says. Her eyes return to the window. "Do you think it'll snow?" she asks.

Ichigo glances at the window. "The weather forecast said it was coming yesterday," he says.

"It must be snowing in Hokkaido already," she says, dreamy. "Mi-chan loves the snow..."

Her eyes close and the silence in the room is suddenly deafening. Ichigo studies her still face and lets out a breath. It mists in the air; turning, he slides the window carefully shut.

"Mikishima-san?" he asks.

Her spirit opens her eyes and looks at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just closed my eyes for a mi-" she sits up, then stops and looks around her. "Oh my," she says.

"It's okay, Mikishima-san," he says. "It's just..."

She starts and looks at him. "Kurosaki-sensei? You can see me? But -"

"I can see... people who've passed on," he says. "That... that's what I meant when I said... it'd be okay."

"Oh." Her eyes are wide and dark and just a little dazed. "Ah... what do I do now?" she asks.

He looks around the hospital room. "Someone... should be coming soon. To show you the way," he says. He could even send her himself, but that might confuse her even more than she already is, and anyway -

A black-robed figure steps through the glass of the window to land by the bed.

"Mikishima Keiko?" Rukia says to the woman, flakes of snow still caught in her ink-dark hair.

Mikishima nods, mute with wonder. Rukia smiles at her. "I'm here to make sure you're safe," she tells her.

"Where... where are you taking me?" Mikishima asks.

"To Soul Society. Where all spirits go, when their time here is over."

"All spirits?"

"Yes."

The woman looks at Ichigo. "Will I see my boys again, do you think?" she asks.

He knows what Rukia would say. He also knows that it is rarely true. He cannot, he finds, bring himself to lie. "You might not. I don't know," he says.

She smiles, resigned, then crosses the room to him, leans up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you," she says, and draws back again. "There's too much left here for them to see. I will wait for them," she says.

He does not hear Rukia draw her blade from its scabbard, only watches as she brings it lightly to Mikishima's temple. Incandescence, filling the room, and then she is gone.

Ichigo looses the hands he hadn't realised he'd clenched into fists.

"Thanks," he says.

Rukia studies him. "There was nothing else you could do," she tells him.

Life. Death. Inevitability.

He does not need her to tell him these things.

"I know," he says, and thinks of two boys who do not yet know their mother is dead.

The look she gives him is long and considering. He meets her eyes and manages a glower. He's too tired to deal with kicks in the head right now. "I'm fine," he says.

Her eyebrows rise. "Is that so."

She leaves the same way she came in, gliding through the window to vanish in a swirl of black. He watches her, and grimaces, and thinks of coffee and sleep and dying.

Outside, it begins to snow.

_end_

October 2005


	11. five shades of white

**Five shades of white**

**

* * *

**

When Ichigo is four, death means the people he sees, when everyone else can't. Sometimes he smiles at them, or walks carefully around them. Mostly, he leaves them alone, and they do the same.

When he is nine, death comes to mean something different, worse - Masaki, and the black hole of her absense, drawing them all in after her, so that he has to grit his teeth to hold on and wake up and remember to breathe.

A voice, telling him, _it's all your fault_.

Ichigo doesn't argue.

The year he turns fifteen, death changes again - no, it _explodes_, all over the carefully built order of his life. It eats, breathes, talks, an annoyance dogging his every goddamn footstep, nagging his waking hours and harrying his sleep, creeping into his dreams. Death becomes a world wider than he can comprehend, death becomes something he can _hold_ - a sword in his hand, a fight to win, and a reason to win it.

Death becomes a second chance.

So he takes it.

Ichigo turns twenty four. He finally graduates from medical school, and gets posted to a public hospital on the outskirts of Tokyo. He learns how very, very fine the line betwen life and death can be; and that there are no real weapons to fight the inevitable.

Death becomes a woman dying on a winter morning, while he sits beside her and watches.

Now, finally:

He learns to let go.

If he is lucky (or perhaps not so lucky), Ichigo will grow old. His hair will fade to ash, his bones will creak, his eyes will dim and weaken. His scars will ache when it rains, and his days of his youth will run into each other in his mind.

He will watch his grandchildren play through long, honeyed summer afternoons, and fall asleep just before the sun sets so his wife will have to wake him for dinner. Death will shadow his slow, careful steps, draw ever closer, and he will wait for it, patient.

He has so little left to fear of it.

When it comes, it will wear a familiar face, young and arrogant as the day they met.

"You took your time," she will say, alighting on the park bench he's settled on.

"I'm in no hurry," he will point out, watching his granddaughter cover herself in dust and dirt.

"Hello, Auntie Rukia," she will say, looking up at his visitor.

"Hello, Ringo-chan."

"Have you come to take Grandpa away again?"

Ichigo will grimace and glower at the girl beside him. "Come back another day," he'll suggest.

"We've given you a week already. Do you want them to send Kenpachi?" she'll ask, dry.

"_God_. No."

"I rest my point."

He will sigh, and kiss his granddaughter on the cheek. "Go home," he'll tell her. "Tell Grandma I'll come visit when I can."

The dark haired child will nod and kiss him on the nose. "Bye bye!"

They will watch her meander down the street, her ponytail bouncing as she skips the cracks in the pavement.

"Ready?" she'll ask.

"Well." He will look down the street he has walked down everyday for the past twenty years of his life, rub the back of his neck, look at her, and shrug his shoulders. "I guess I am."

_end_

October 2005


	12. razors

**razors**

* * *

"Oh," Rukia says, her voice keen and cheerful with contempt. "Is _that_ the problem?"

And then before Ichigo can even think _is what?_ she grips him by the collar of his shirt, and yanks him down (he always, _always_ forgets she's so much stronger than she looks).

Then she kisses him.

Hard.

"There," she says with that infuriating calm, releasing him.

He gasps. Blinks. Splutters. Howls. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"

"Do all mortals react to matters of the flesh with such embarrassment?" she inquires, studying his reaction with a curious eye. "Or is it just you? Orihime seemed to find it quite enlightening!"

"PEOPLE DO NOT JUST FUCKI- _What_?"

"There are only so many ways one can deal with physical attraction. Denial is _not _one of them, much as you seem to think it is."

"You want to talk DENIAL?" he snarls, glaring at her.

"If it interferes with your work efficiency, it needs to be dealt wi-"

This is about the time he grabs _her_ by the shoulder and kisses her back. Angrily, and roughly, because he doesn't know any other way. He feels her smile against his mouth, and then he's free again (funny, how holding on seems to damn hard).

She smiles up at him, sharp and mocking and dangerous. She still hasn't let go of his shirt.

"You have a lot left to learn, boy," she says.

Ichigo has a bad, bad feeling about this.

_end_

November 2005


	13. something they can live with

**something they can live with: 20 facts about ichigo and rukia  
**Co-written with Silverlight/Eve  
_(Written for LJ: 20 souls)_

* * *

01. Ichigo lets Rukia sleep in his closet because that's the only place in the mortal world he trusts her to not blow up.

02. She hated him for a while, at first, seeing his raw, untamed power go wasted while she watched, helpless, powerless. But she was a shinigami and hate was inefficient. She got over it. (That was when she learned how important discipline really could be.)

03. Ichigo and Rukia would die for one another. Just not live for one another.

04. Ichigo hates but is thankful for Rukia coming into his life. His conscience and mother can now rest in peace, even if he never gets another good night's rest ever again.

05. Fiction: The nights after Rukia leaves, Ichigo dreams about her.

06. Fact: He dreams about his mother for the first time in four years instead.

07. If they had never met in the mortal world, Rukia would have been Ichigo's mentor in at the Academy.

08. Rukia is the one who explains to Ichigo that Orihime is in love with him. She tied him to a chair and drew diagrams to make sure he got the point.

09. Fact: What Ichigo didn't know he needed until he met Rukia: The realisation that some people were crazier and weirder and more screwed than he would ever be.

10. What Rukia didn't know she needed until she met Ichigo: Sometimes the simplest answers were the the hardest. They were also the only ones that really worked.

11. They do not need each other beyond the knowledge that they are still alive.

12. Fiction: Ichigo is jealous of Renji. Rukia is jealous of Orihime. They are in denial about this, of course.

13. Fact: Ichigo is a two-minute man. Rukia swears that she does not know this.

14. Fiction: Ichigo swears never to drink again even as he drags a pregnant Rukia to the wedding chapel.

15. Fiction: They pray that their future kids never become shinigami.

16. When Rukia returns to Soul Society, she does not miss Ichigo so much as she misses listening to someone breathe through the night and knowing she's not the only one with nightmares.

17. Fact: She's a bitch and he's a jerk and that's okay because the last thing they ever wanted from each other was kindness.

18. Ichigo does not remind Rukia of Kaien. His hair is too bright, his scowl too omnipresent and smile nonexistent.

19. Now he knows: Masaki's death was not his fault. He also knows: It's not his mother that'll be waiting for him when he dies. It's Rukia

20. They are not pieces of a puzzle that fit together; she's an edge piece and he's a middle piece, but some smartass thought it would be a funny idea to take a knife, shave off her protruding joint and try to fit her with Ichigo. They still haven't forgiven Providence (or Urahara) for doing that.

_end_

December 2005


	14. dragonflies

**dragonflies**

The first time she kisses Orihime it's soft and sweet and terrible and Tatsuki can't _believe_ she's doing this. She pulls away with something akin to horror, only to find that Orihime has taken hold of her hands. She's smiling, the kind of smile Tatsuki's only ever seen her give to dragonflies. "Silly," she says, laughing, and then she wraps her arms around her and kisses her back.

_end_

January 2006


	15. time travel

**Time Travel  
**For Afrai

* * *

"So your 'scientists' have not really come up with a way to turn back time and change the past?" Rukia asks, brows drawn.

Ichigo thinks he's going to kill Keigo for turning into Rukia's latest shoujo manga supplier. _Crazy_ shoujo manga supplier. "No!"

"Hmph. They can't be good for much then," she says, returning to her book. Ichigo snorts.

"It's a stupid idea," he says, irritably. "The time paradoxes would never work out. Why're you so _set_ on it anyway?"

She looks up, eyebrow quirked just so. "So you've never thought of changing the past?"

He stiffens at that. She studies his reaction, then closes her book. "You could change things so we never met," she points out, calm. "You could still be a normal student then. Our war would be none of your concern."

Ichigo looks up. "Would you?" he asks.

She looks at him for a long moment, turns to the window. He doesn't think she'll answer, but then she says, "If I could change my past... there are many things I would want to change." A pause. "But perhaps not you. You are not yet the worst thing to have happened to me." She admits it like one conceding a great truth. Her chin is up, her profile ice-sharp against the afternoon light.

Ichigo turns back to his homework. "Probably not," he says.

"Hm?"

He glances at her, then shrugs. "Guess you wouldn't be the worst thing to have happened to me either," he says.

"Is that so." He doesn't turn to look, so he couldn't say - but maybe she even smiles.

_end_

April 2006


End file.
